I Said This, You Heard That

SCRIPTURE

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭NLT‬‬

OBSERVATION

Each of us is uniquely wired, designed by God to be who He designed us to be.

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:13-14‬ ‭NLT‬‬

Unique Wiring

Sanguines(Yellow)- Uniquely wired to see the best in people and circumstances

Cholerics(Red)- Uniquely wired to be visionaries who can see and achieve goals.

Melancholics(Blue)- Uniquely wired to anticipate obstacles and creatively problem solve.

Phlegmatics(Green)- Uniquely wired to stay calm and kind in the midst of chaos.

Woven into our unique wiring are loud, powerful, deep, peaceful strengths.

Simultaneously, we each have loud, powerful, deep, peaceful weaknesses.

In their strengths they commonly say...

Sanguines: Oh, I’ve got a story about that...wait till you hear this!

In their weaknesses they commonly say...

Sanguines: Do you always have to be so serious?

In their strengths they commonly say...

Cholerics: How about we do it this way?

In their weaknesses they commonly say...

Cholerics: Just do what I said.

In their strengths they commonly say...

Phlegmatics: I’m good with whatever.

In their weaknesses they commonly say...

Phlegmatics: I’ll do it later.

In their strengths they commonly say...

Melancholics: I’ve been giving it some thought...

In their weaknesses they commonly say...

Melancholics: No one understands me.

“Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:1-4‬ ‭NLT‬‬

APPLICATION

Cognitively speaking many of us agree that we are all different. However, experientially we want, believe, or expect other people to be like us. In our strengths each of us rocks! In our weaknesses we throw rocks at others. It’s important that we understand, and operate from a place of self-control, not other-control. Self-control is one of the evidences, indications, and proofs that the Spirit of God lives in you. Changing who you are is not an option. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by God to be exactly who you are. However, you get to choose which version of you people will experience. You can choose to show up as the best version of yourself, or the worst version of you. Still you. Understand that we choose the words we use. Our words can help, or hurt. We can choose to build, or destroy. 

PRAYER

Father, thank You for making me so wonderfully complex! Thank You for healing me, thank You for delivering me. Please, help me to operate in and from my strengths. Help me to seek out opportunities to build others up, recognizing the God in them, and loving them like You do.

Why I Don’t Go To Church

1. Too many hypocrites 
2. It’s boring
3. I don’t belong there
4. They just want my money

Gen Z: Born between 1999 and 2015

Millennial: Born between 1984 and 1998

Gen X: Born between 1965 and 1983

Boomer: Born between 1946 and 1964

Elder: Born before 1946

“Because you have these blessings, do all you can to add to your life these things: to your faith add goodness; to your goodness add knowledge; to your knowledge add self-control; to your self-control add patience; to your patience add devotion to God; to your devotion add kindness toward your brothers and sisters in Christ, and to this kindness add love. If all these things are in you and growing, you will never fail to be useful to God. You will produce the kind of fruit that should come from your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”

‭‭2 Peter‬ ‭1:5-8‬ ‭ERV‬‬

1. Nearly two in five churchgoers report regularly attending multiple churches.

Declining church loyalty—or what is sometimes referred to as “church hopping”—is becoming a common feature of churchgoing. Just because somebody might attend church doesn’t mean they attend the same church every time. While a majority of churchgoers does tend to stick with a single congregation (63% churched adults, 72% practicing Christians), a sizable minority is at least occasionally attending other churches, including nearly two in five churched adults (38%) and one-quarter of practicing Christians (27%).

2. Churchgoers are divided on the value of church.

Another element of the churchgoing landscape is the paradoxical perceptions that churchgoers hold of church itself. Kinnaman observes, “Those who frequent worship services do so largely because of personal enjoyment, but many churchgoers also readily admit that they believe people are tired of church as usual.”

On the positive side of the ledger, two-thirds of churched adults say they attend church because they “enjoy doing it” (65%); the same is true for four in five practicing Christians (82%). Still, it’s worth noting that one in six churchgoers (17%) says they attend because they “have to” and one in seven (15%) says they do so “out of habit.” 

While most churchgoers attribute positive feelings to their participation in church, half of Christians agree that “church as usual” is declining in popularity. Or, at least, churchgoers perceive that other people feel this way.

Currently, about half of Christians (48% self-identified Christians, 45% practicing Christians) and more than half of churched adults overall (57% of U.S. adults who have attended in the last six months) admit that people they know are tired of the usual type of church experience. While you might think that some groups of Christians are more likely than others to feel this way, data show no significant difference across denomination, generation or faith segment.

3. Churchgoers largely experience—and have come to expect—positive emotions and outcomes by going to church.

Overall, churched adults say they leave worship services feeling inspired (37%), encouraged (37%), forgiven (34%), as though they have connected with God or experienced his presence (33%) and challenged to change something in their life (26%), every time. A plurality of churched adults also express always feeling like attending service was the most important experience they had all week (29%) and that they learned something new (28%).

Even so, 32 percent of churched adults say they feel disappointed by the experience at least half of the time and another 40 percent leave feeling guilty. Kinnaman notes, “In survey research, people tend to under-report negative experiences. As researchers, we have to amplify the times when they have the courage to report these kinds of disappointing experiences, and acknowledge there may be other ways a worship community has let them down, beyond those listed here.”

These findings ultimately reveal that attendees encounter and even anticipate a range of emotional connectivity during worship services—which can further complicate the job of those behind the pulpit. Kinnaman states, “We must emphasize the reality that, week in and week out, today’s church leaders are tasked with meeting a diverse set of emotional expectations.”

**Barna Research**

Healthy Relationships & Pizza In Bed

Healthy Relationships & Pizza N Bed

Scripture

“Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.” So he took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals and all the birds. Then he brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and that is how they all got their names. So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:18-20‬ ‭GNB‬‬

“Then the man said, “At last, here is one of my own kind — Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh. ‘Woman’ is her name because she was taken out of man.” That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united with his wife, and they become one.”
‭‭Genesis‬ ‭2:23-24‬ ‭GNB‬‬

Observation

1. God Himself said “It’s not good for Man to be alone”
2. Humanity is built for community
3. There’s a difference between isolation & solitude

Boundaries

“Boundaries define us. They define what is me and what is not me. A boundary shows me where i end and someone else begins, leading me to a sense of ownership. Knowing what I am to own and take responsibility for gives me freedom. Taking responsibility for my life opens up many different options. Boundaries help us keep the good in and the bad out. Setting boundaries inevitably involves taking responsibility for your choices. You are the one who makes them. You are the one who must live with their consequences. And you are the one who may be keeping yourself from making the choices you could be happy with. We must own our own thoughts and clarify distorted thinking.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life


“The extent to which two people in a relationship can bring up and resolve issues is a critical marker of the soundness of a relationship.”
― Henry Cloud, Boundaries Face to Face: How to Have That Difficult Conversation You've Been Avoiding

Singleness - What does it mean?

Single - To be separate, unique and whole.

What I love most about this definition is that it focuses on the individual and not just a relationship status.

Application
Growth is a choice. It’s not automatic.

“When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I have grown up, I have no more use for childish ways.”
‭‭1 Corinthians‬ ‭13:11‬ ‭GNB‬‬

Prayer
Father, we thank You for your love, direction, and guidance. We thank You for creating systems to help us grow and mature. You are so good to us. Thank You Father, for Your Spirit on the inside of us. The Spirit that calls out “ABBA, Father”!